Since it’s been a little while we’ve been here now, and since you may at some times end up in Alexandria, I think it could be nice of me to tell you something about Egyptian leisure and lifestyle. In Alexandria there are mainly three big hotels to stay at: The Metropole ( which is mine), The Windsor ( which is the one of the ladies) and the Sofitel ( about which I don’t care because none of us is staying there). These three hotels have been built at the beginning of the XX century but, thankfully, they had someone who cared about them and did something to prevent them to crumble as it’s happening to great part of Alexandria buildings. (Travel tip: never stop for a long time too close to Alexandria buildings). They have a super kitsch décor, that I truly love, some kind of mix between my granny’s living room ( the elegant one without the plastic cover on the sofas to prevent them from being used, very comfy especially in summer), Napoleon’s bedroom and the Parthenon. The staff is super nice, although a little anxious, it looks like they have some kind of obsession with the room numbers of the customers, that they keep asking you all day long. I’m thinking about hanging a nice poster around my neck with my room number written on it. The rooms assignation has been soooo reasonable: I got a stadium-sized room, I can roller-skate into bathtub using it as a half-pipe, and my bed is so wide that could comfortably lodge an entire Chinese family ( grannies and pets included). Chris “Chef du Projet” Dhelinger’s room is a super cute cabin, like the ones Japanese use to doze in the afternoon, and I also think I’ve seen the Grumpy dwarf asking the reception guy when could he get his room back. One nice thing about rooms, is the shower: there must be some secret law that only Egyptian know ( and they won’t tell you) according to which hot water never works when you decide to take a shower. I guess the only way to avoid to get freeze to death is to pretend you don’t feel like having a shower, move slowly towards the shower while chewing your nails or whistling and, suddenly, jump in the bathtub with all your clothes on opening the tap at the same time. I won’t tell you much about the meals, because I feel the need to dedicate them a whole post. Anyway, I must admit that dinners are really cheerful: there’s always this Buddha Bar atmosphere, you eat at feeble candlelight, you see nothing of what you eat, and you are brightened by a piano player whose repertoire clearly shows his will to kill himself by the end of the month. Around 10.00 p.m. there’s dinnertime climax: the traditional (Finnish !?) belly dancer flails for ten minutes provoking faint enthusiasm in everyone except from Vincent, who has exhausted his camera memory card taking picture of her. Last, but not least, there’s the alcohol issue. In Egypt having alcohol is forbidden in many places so you mainly drink loads of tea or coffee ( with astonishing diuretic effects). If you fancy a beer ( or something stronger), the only place where I so far could find it was the hotel itself but I warn you, it’s not a bowl of cherries at all. There you are a handbook for asking something alcoholic to drink in a Hotel: 1) You’d better sit down in the hall with your room number poster around the neck , because (since is a quite complex operation) the staff of the hotel will ask you it at least a thousand times. 2) You ask for a menu, in which the non-alcoholic choice is written in capital sparkling letters while the alcoholic one is hand written on the back cover. 3) You’d better ask for something that just needs to be pour from the bottle to the glass, like a vodka. (Travel tip: a booster dose or a vodka on the rocks can cause misunderstandings. Yesterday I asked a double vodka with a lot of ice, and they actually brought to me a glass of vodka, and a filled-to-the-top ice bucket…well, that was a lot of ice.) Never ever ever ask for cocktails. Vince, Chris and I have been looked like pioneers when we suggested our beloved Tony Youssef waiter ( such a Rock n’ roll name!!!) to mix some Paradise fruit juice with vodka. His life is never going to be the same again.
